Octopus's Garden 10

Octopus's Garden

Issue Ten - January 1996

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Keith Sherwood (keith_sherwood@intuit.com) writes :

In fact, the entire TV anthology is just a big commercial for the eventual 9-10 hour "unexpurgated" video Anthology, on sale near you soon. The entire thing (the marketing push?) left me completely cool: I only watched about 90 minutes of the second episode, and found its song "Real Love" no better than when Yoko released it on the Post-Mortem John album.

I guess I resent feeling like I have to say, "Oh, I was a Beatlemaniac before it was made fashionable by the biggest marketing frenzy since Windows 95."

To which the sub-editor responds :

I can see what you mean, although a more cynical person than me might equate this to the common musical conceit of "Oh, I discovered XYZ long before anyone else had ever heard of them." The problem being that you can only really say this vis-a-vis the Fab Four if you (a) frequented various seedy Hamburg nightclubs in 1961 or (b) are called Brian Epstein...

Afterlithe II 3019 (93?? ts??) Downfall XIII

"RICHARD M. JOHNSON"

DWARVES/GOOD (Mike Gonslaves, UNITED STATES.) :: _2A(Gor)*-Oro_, A(DGu) stand unordered, _Dain & 2A(Dag)-Udu_, A(Bre) S A(Nen)-Shi, _A(FEr) S A(Bre)_, A(OFR)-Esg, A(Nen)-Shi, A(EWa)-Iro.
ELVES/GOOD (Donald Scarr, SCOTLAND.) :: A(Lor) stands, A(Crk)-OFR, _A(NDo)-FEr_, _F(Cit)*stands_, A(Cdl)-Tha, A(Rhu)-Wea, A(NiE) S A(Dun), A(Fra)-Eot, _A(Shi)*S A(NDo)-FEr_, _A(Dun)*S A(Cdl)-Tha_, A(Ise) S A(Dun), F(GUL)-Fld, A(GHa) S F(GUL)-Fld, A(EKH) S A(Crk)-OFR, A(And) stands.
GANDALF/GOOD (Iain Bowen, Great Britain.):: Aragorn/Dead(Ene)-Dun, Gandalf(. . . . . .) - . . . . . .
GONDOR/GOOD (Chris Q. Hardy, Great Britain.) :: A(SGo) Embark F(SBY), A(Dor) Embark Faramir/F(ETH), Faramir/A/F(ETH) Merge A/F(SBY) = Faramir/2A/2F(SBY), Faramir/2A(SBY) Disembark Cit, 2A(CAn)-NIt, A(Osg) stand, R(. . . . . . ) - . . . . . ., A(MMo) S A/C(Oro)-Gor, A/C(Oro)-Gor ; Divide C(Gor)-Nur.
MORDOR/EVIL (Despair) :: Lord of the Nazgul/3A(Hrd), A(Kha), A(Hdw), 2A(Udu), Nazgul(. . . . . . ) all stand unordered.
ROHAN/GOOD (Pete Gaughan, UNITED STATES.) :: C(NRh)-SRh, _A(NIt)*S GONDOR A(Oro)-Udu_ (no such order), _A(DMa) S GONDOR A(Oro)-Udu_ (no such order), A(Nin) S A(DMa), Theoden(Emy)-Nin, A(Wol) stands, A(Gap) S Aragorn/Dead(Ene)-Dun, A(Ano)-Ent.

RETREATS :

DWARVES 2A(Gor) disbands, no legal retreat ordered.
ELVES A(Dun) disbands, no retreat possible.
ELVES F(Cit) disbands, no retreat ordered.
ELVES A(Shi)-SFo.
ROHAN A(NIt) disbands, no retreat possible.

Afterlithe III 3019 Adjustments :

DWARVES : Iro, Ere, Blu, -Fld, Esg, FEr, -SRh, DGu, Bre, -Nur, +Shi: =8 no change
ELVES : EKH, Lor, Iml, GHa, Hdn, Crk, And, CDm, Eot, Gun, -Shi, -Dun, -Cit, Hol, Ise, +Tha +Fld: =14 +A(GHa)
GANDALF : Dru, +Dun: =2 two short, no rooom
GONDOR : MTi, Pel, +1, DAm, SIt, Osg, Lam, SGo, MMo, +Nur +Cit: =11 +A(MTi)
MORDOR : Bar, Udu, -6, Kha, Hrd.: =4 g.m. rem 2A(Hrd), A(Udu).
ROHAN : DHa, Eas, HDe, Wol, EEm, Ano, RRu, +SRh: =8 +A(Eas), C(HDe)
SARUMAN : KDm.: =1 one short, no build ordered
UMBAR : Hav.: =1 one short, no build ordered
NEUTRAL : -Tha.: =0

GENEVA :

Please note the CHANGE OF ADDRESS for Iain, Chris and the g.m.. The proposed extrapolated DWARVES/ELVES/GONDOR/ROHAN draw was defeated by abstentions only. We now have proposed :

An extrapolated DWARVES/ELVES/GONDOR/ROHAN draw (again)
A Draw Including All Survivors (DWARVES/ELVES/GANDALF/GONDOR/ROHAN).

The deadline for votes, Wedmath I 3019 orders and retreats is FRIDAY, 23rd FEBRUARY, 1996, to Peter Sullivan. E-mail : peter@manorcon.demon.co.uk

PRESS :

ON A FINE MIDSUMMER'S MORNING SOMEWHAT BELOW THE MISTY MOUNTAINS, OH YES : "You can stop that, for a start," scowled the flamboyantly-dressed Yorkshireman, "Gaudy" Amos Igitur. "If I want press datelines that sound like John Major about to do one of his paeans to warm beer again, I'll let you know."

Amos was not usually this curt (actually, that's probably a lie), but at the moment, like John Major's favourite warm beer, he was feeling bitter. Things hadn't gone well since the three of them had left Tharbad some weeks before, and now he was footsore after a long trek through Moria with Benni Vivamus and the ginger-bearded Amt5man. The latter had got into a frenzy shortly as Amos had lead them north up the Greenway, where he intended to sit out the rest of the war in one of the infamous Southfarthingweed Smoking cafes in Amsterbree. But Amt5man had insisted on leading the party east, towards the Misty Mountains, mumbling something about "Cee-Mage! We hatesss him! Stole it from usss! Livesss in nasssty deep sssundered land, yesss!!!"

There journey through Moria had been suspiciously quiet so far, and they were rapidly approaching the East Gate, when Amt5man tripped over a large, dusty tome placed across the path. Leaving him to pick himself up, the other two dusted off the leather-bound volume and turned to the frontispiece to reveal the legend "Perelandra #369."

"It seems a strange and spidery hand, much in the manner of the Horse-fanciers," said Amos.

"I wonder what this means?" said Benni, pointing to the last entry, which said "Drum machines, drum machines, down in the deep 64-track."

"I don't know, but I like this less and less," said Amos. "Let's get out of here."

As they made their way towards the bridge which lead towards safety, there was a dramatic explosion, and Music of the Year Lists suddenly cascaded around the frightened adventurers.

"Aiee, aiee, a Boob-rog has come!" cried Benni. "Most feared of all musicbores since the Crottled Greeper!" The large, shambolic firery figure, suddenly highlighted clear in profile on the very arch of the bridge, lurched towards them...